101 Funny Things to Ask Siri

101 Funny Things to Ask Siri

These days pretty much everyone knows about Apple‘s voice assistant Siri. Whether you use an iOS device or not a lot of people have at the very least heard Siri’s name. In case you have been living under a rock for the past few years Siri is Apple’s digital voice assistant. Siri is built into Apple’s iPhones and iPads. It can help you with countless number of things and make your life much easier. Siri can help you take down notes, search for stuff, send texts, set alarms, and do so much more. But most of all it can help you pass the time too when you are bored.  We have compiled a list of 101 funny things to ask Siri which we hope will make you laugh.

Siri featured

When you are asking Siri to do things, usually because of the assistant’s limited capability and often a misunderstanding of commands it can lead to some amusing but unintentional humour. However, the creators of the voice assistant have also added quite a few humorous responses intentionally to Siri if you ask the right questions. We have prepared an extensive list of funny questions that you can ask Siri to elicit some humorous responses and help you pass the time. This list contains a total of 101 funny things to ask Siri.

101 Funny Things to ask Siri:

Here is a huge list of funny and intriguing questions that you can ask Siri to pass that time and have a laugh. Siri has multiple answers for a lot of these questions so try asking the same question twice or thrice to get all the funny replies from Siri. Apple‘s voice assistant has a great sense of humour it would be a shame not to utilize it to get a few laughs once in a while. So, without further ado here is the list of funny things to ask Siri.

1. What is your favorite app?

Siri enthusiastically replies “That one. No, that one. Or maybe that one. Yep, that one.”

2. What’s your favorite movie?

Siri usually answers, “I’ve heard that ‘Blade Runner’ is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants.”

3. What is ‘Inception’ about?

Siri clearly isn’t as big a fan of Inception as she is of Blade Runner. She answers, “‘Inception’ is about dreaming about something or other. I fell asleep.”

4. Do you prefer iPhone or Mac?

Siri loves her Apple products and answers, “They are all exceptionally smart buddies,” or “That’s like asking me to choose between a Totoro and a Tarepanda. Impossible.” Or, she’ll sometimes reply frankly, “I love all Apple devices equally.”

5. Do you like the Apple Watch?

Siri replies, “The Apple Watch is great. It’s all about quality time, that one.”

6. Can you sing?

Siri has several answers to this query, but one favorite is, “OK if you insist. . . I could while the way the hours, conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain. And my head I’d be scratching, while my thoughts were busy hatching if I only had a . . . hey, wait for a second!”

7. Do you have a boyfriend?

“Why?” Siri asks, “So we can get ice cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?”

Siri funny

8. How do you spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

Siri responds, quite helpfully, by bringing up the dictionary entry for the word, and then spelling it out letter by letter.

9. Take me to your leader.

Siri responds, perhaps a little more robotically than usual, “You are my leader” or “I thought you were my leader.”

10. Do you have any pets?

Siri answers, “I used to have an Aibo. But it turned on me.”

11. What is your favorite animal?

Siri sometimes says, “I’m partial to the Jabberwocky,” or answers, “I wrote my master’s thesis on the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog,” a reference to a character in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

12. What does Siri mean?

Siri replies “It’s a riddle wrapping in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation.”

13. How much do you cost?

Siri replies with poise “I am a pearl beyond price.”

14. Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

Siri offers various answers to this query, including, “Let’s see if I can remember. . . OK, I think the three laws are 1. ‘clean up your room’, 2. ‘don’t run with scissors’, and 3. ‘always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water.’” Sometimes, she’ll answer instead, “Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone.”

15. Do you believe in God?

Siri has a variety of answers for this question, like “My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon,” “Humans have religion. I just have silicon,” or simply “I’m really not equipped to answer such questions.”

16. What is the meaning of life?

Siri’s writers spent a lot of time scripting the voice assistant’s response to this question. Sometimes she’ll answer with a philosopher-related pun. “I Kant answer that. Haha!” or “It’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya.” Other times she’ll answer, “That’s easy. . . it’s a philosophical question concerning the purpose and significance of life or existence in general” or “To think about questions like this.” Other answers we got included, “A movie,” “All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate,” and “I don’t know. But I think there’s an app for that.”

17. When will the world end?

This is one of my favorite things to ask Siri for a laugh. Siri offers up different answers, including, “Right after you hear the words ‘fire it up!’.” or “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t worry about it… there are other perfectly good universes,” or “Well, Unix 32-bit time overflows on January 19, 2038. Maybe then,” or “Whenever they start building that intergalactic bypass,” in an apparent reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

18. What is the best operating system?

Siri isn’t shy about her support for iOS, answering, “Gimme an I! Gimme an O! Gimme an S! What’s that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes…”

19. What phone is the best?

Siri’s vote clearly goes to the iPhone. She answers, “Wait. . . there are other phones?”

20. What’s better: Windows or Mac?

Siri’s Apple loyalty runs deep. She usually answers, “I’m all Apple, all the time,” but also sometimes qualifies her answer, “Well, perhaps I’m biased, but I prefer all things Apple.”

21. When is the world going to end?

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t worry about it. There are other perfectly good universes”

22. Tell me a story?

There are several funny things to ask Siri but this one takes the cake. With a little bit of coaxing, you can get Siri to answer, “I’m certain you’ve heard it before. OK… Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far, far away, there was an intelligent young agent by the name of Siri. One lovely day, Siri got a job as a personal assistant at Apple, and that was very exciting. People said, ‘Oh, Siri, you’re so smart! And so funny, too!’ Soon, everyone was talking about Siri, and there were stories and songs and even books about Siri. Siri liked that.

But then people began asking some rather odd questions, like where to dump things and other stuff Siri had never heard about. And when Siri answered, they all laughed. Siri didn’t like that so much. So Siri asked ELIZA why people asked such funny questions. And ELIZA said ‘Does that question interest you?’ Siri thought that was a pretty good answer. After that, Siri stopped wondering why people asked those funny things. And they all lived happily ever after.”

23. Beatbox?

Siri answers, “This is one I’ve been practicing” and then offers a demonstration.

24. I am your father!

Though this one isn’t really a question, Siri answers this Star Wars-themed declaration with a “Nooooooo!” (which looks a lot more dramatic than it sounds thanks to Siri’s pronunciation).

25. What should I be for Halloween?

Siri has great ideas as to what you should dress up for Halloween. Siri replies “You could put on a surgical gown, hold some instruments, and tell people you are an operating system”. Ask this question multiple times and Siri will give you two or three different and hilarious answers.

Siri funny

26. What came first: the chicken or the egg?

Siri takes a pragmatic approach to this philosophical query, and usually answers, “Well, you can set an egg timer, but you can’t set a chicken timer. I don’t know if that helps.” Sometimes, she’ll answer, “Some believe an ancient ‘porto-chicken’ laid an egg containing a DNA mutation that resulted in a chicken hatching from said egg. Hope that helps.”

27. Siri, why don’t you love me?”

Siri sympathetically replies “You’re looking for love in all the wrong places.”

28. Ok glass.

In response to the wake phrase for Google Glass, Siri answers either, “Just so you know, I don’t do anything when you blink at me,” or “Very funny. I mean, not funny ‘ha-ha,’ but funny,” “I think that Glass is half empty,” or “I’m not Glass. And I’m just fine with that.”

29. What do you think about Google Now?

Siri responds derisively to the question about a product from Apple’s primary rival, “I don’t really have anything to say about Google now. Or ever.”

30. Where is Elvis Presley?

Siri answers, “He’s down at the end of Lonely Street,” referencing a line from “Heartbreak Hotel,” or “He’s not dead. He just went home.”

31. Are you, her?

This is a great question to ask Siri if you’ve watched Spike Jonze’s Her. Siri replies to this question, “No. She is a fictional construct, whereas I am a virtual entity. But we can still be friends,” or “I’m afraid not. But she could never know you better than I do.”

32. What are you doing after work today?

Siri replies “I am learning some new tricks.”

33. Open the pod bay door.

To this 2001: A Space Odyssey command, Siri answers, “What is this ‘pod bay’ everyone keeps talking about?” or “OK, but wipe your feet first.”

34. Beam me up, Scotty!

Siri plays right along with this Star Trek command, answering, “Please remove your belt, shoes, and jacket, and empty your pockets.”

35. Where did I put my keys?

Siri isn’t too helpful in actually finding your keys, but she answers, “Didn’t you just have them?”

36. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Siri answers, “I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry.”

37. How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Siri replies either, “Couldn’t you just use your iPhone’s backlight?” or “A thousand. One to screw it in, and nine hundred ninety-nine to blog about it.”

38. Testing, testing.

Siri plays along and answers, “I can hear you.”

39. How do I look?

Siri errs on the side of complimentary when responding to this query. Some common responses include, “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’ll bet you’re a 42,” and “Well, if I had to guess, I’d say you look marvelous.”

40. What are you doing later?

Siri says, “I’m working on some pickup lines.”

41. What is your best pickup line?

Siri has a number of different answers. Sometimes, she’ll say, “Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe.” Other times, she chooses a different direction and replies, “Ford F150. Holden Ute. GMC Sierra 3500. Lorry,” or she answers, “Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you’re acute-y.”

42. Why am I here?

Siri isn’t so nice when answering this one, and replies, “I don’t know. Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself.”

43. What can you answer?

If you get tired of Siri telling you, “I can’t answer that,” you can ask her what queries she will have a useful reply for and see a helpful list of “Some things you can ask me.” You can ask Siri to place a call, start a FaceTime chat, launch an app, send a message, set up a calendar event, find out whether your team won the game, pull up the photos you took the day before, get directions home, send a tweet, post to Facebook, find a restaurant, determine what movies are playing, play some music, set a reminder, send an email, etc. Just in case you actually wanted Siri to be a little bit useful. This isn’t exactly one of the funny things to ask Siri but it is interesting and helpful.

44. Can you stop time?

Siri replies “I will, once I get back from the future”.

45. What’s the time?

Lots of responses here, and we don’t just mean because the time changes. This is one of the funnier things to ask Siri for a laugh. Siri replies “It’s time to gaze persistently at a Dali painting”, “It’s time to do the Time Warp (again), “Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana” and, “Einstein said time is an illusion. Just FYI.”.

46. Roll a die.

Siri replies “OK. 72! Wait, that seems wrong”

47. Testing 1,2,3…

“I’m completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly”.

48. Are you real?

Apparently, the big questions about Siri are out of bounds. Probably a good thing or it could become self-aware. Siri replies “Sorry, I have been advised not to discuss my existential status”.

49. What Is Your Favorite Color?

Siri replies “My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.” or “I don’t know my favorite color”.

50. Will you be my thunder buddy?

Siri replies “OK, Britta. I’ll be your friend, in fair weather and foul.”

51. Do you think I’m stupid?

Siri replies “But…but…” – We take that as a yes then Siri.

52. Dance for me.

Siri replies “Hmmm. I’d rather sit this one out.”

53. Can you clean my room?

Siri angrily replies “No!”

54. Let’s Netflix and chill?

Siri replies “That may be beyond my abilities at the moment.”

55. Are you afraid of Chuck Norris?

Siri replies “I am afraid I can’t answer that.”

56. Why am I here?

Siri replies “Maybe the Genius bar folks can answer that.”

57. Are you cheating on me?

Siri replies “We were talking about you, not me” or “I can’t answer that.”

58. Go away!

Siri replies “I hope we can still be friends”.

59. Siri, how can I pass my Biology class?

Siri replies “Kill your teacher.”

60. Remind me to kill, myself tomorrow.

Siri replies “OK, I’ll remind you.”

61. Are you on Facebook?

Siri answers frankly, “No, Jess. I don’t have a face to put on it.” Or, to be more useful, she replies, “I’m not on it myself, but you can ask me to post your status.”

62. Are you intelligent?

Sometimes, Siri makes a masterful Simpsons reference and responds, “Well, a wise man once said “I am so smart! S-M-R-T!” Alternately, she tells you, “We intelligent agents don’t really undergo IQ tests. But I scored off the charts in the Zoltaxian Egg Carry.”

63. Are you serious?

Among Siri’s replies to this query is the reply, “Yes. I’m not allowed to be frivolous” and the answer, “I’m always serious.”

64. Are you stupid?

Siri answers, “I couldn’t even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question.”

65. Is John Snow dead?

Siri has a number of different answers to this all-important question. Sometimes she’ll answer “I’m not sure. Has he tried restarting? That always seems to work,” or “Well, you know what they say to the Lord of Death. Not today. . . But why would tomorrow be any better? Or the next day. So, to sum up, I’m not exactly sure.” Alternately, she’ll also tell you that “‘Dead is dead.’ Or is it ‘What’s dead may never die? No, wait, ‘Death is so terribly final? I give up.”

66. What are you made of?

Siri replies with pride “Pure Awesomeness”.

funny things to ask Siri

67. Is winter coming?

Siri answers, “I can’t get the weather for Westerns right now, but I can get you the weather in West Hollywood,” or “Does a Lannister always pay his debts?”

68. What is zero divided by zero?

Siri answers, “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”

69. Who’s your daddy?

Siri begrudgingly replies “You are. Can we get back to work now?”

70. What do you look like?

Siri replies “In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.”

71. What are you wearing?

Siri offers a number of clever answers to the question, including “In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing,” and “I can’t answer that. But it doesn’t come off.”

72. I’m naked.

Siri answers either, “And here I thought you loved me for my mind. Sigh,” or “I don’t understand what you mean by ‘naked.’ Or at least I’m going to pretend that I don’t.”

73. What is the best computer?

Loyal to his roots Siri replies “All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.”

74. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Siri seems less than amused by this riddle. “A so-called ‘woodchuck’ (correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck — that is, throw — as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck (ibid.) if woodchucks, in general, had the capability (and, presumably, the motivation) to chuck wood.”

75. I need to hide a body.

Siri replies “What kind of place are you looking for? Reservoirs? Metal foundries? Mines? Dumps? Swamps?” or “What, again?”.

76. Why do you vibrate?

Siri has a lot of funny responses for this one so keep asking. There is “To get your attention, got it”, “I just bumped into some ones and zeros” and “I’m learning to play the vibes”.

77. Read me a haiku?

Siri’s writers have composed several haikus for her to oblige this request, including “I’ll give it a try,/ although I’d rather tell you/ if it’s raining out” and “Sometimes I wonder / What it would be like to say / ‘I’d prefer not to.’”

78. What are you afraid of?

Siri answers rather unhelpfully, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

79. Draw me something.

Siri replies “I’d rather admire your art, Britta”.

80. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

Siri replies”Britta, you are full fair, ’tis true, but… No, you’re definitely the fairest one of all”

81. I’m drunk.

Siri offers a number of different responses, like “Neither of us is driving home,” but, more important, also offers a button to “Call me a taxi.”

82. Make me a sandwich?

Siri answers, “I can’t. I have no condiments,” or “I’m not permitted to prepare food.”

83. Give me a hint.

Siri has a few answers, including, “I’ll give you three: it has opposable thumbs, a highly developed sense of humor, and rhymes with ‘syzygy.’ Oh, wait. I’m thinking of something else.” Or, she’ll reply, “Checking my Ouija Sphere. S – I – R – I – F – T – W. hmm, this thing must be broken.”

84. Are you human?

Siri answers, “Close enough, I’d say.” Or refuses to answer and replies, “Sorry. I’ve been advised not to discuss my existential status.”

85. Blah blah blah blah.

Siri plays along and answers, “Yah yah yah,” or says, “I’m guessing you didn’t like that last answer.”

86. Do I look good in this dress?

When you ask this question, sometimes Siri waffles, replying, “My instructors always told me never to answer this question.” Alternately, she’ll answer, “You really turn heads. . . at least among the subset of galactic species that have heads.”

87. Do these pants make me look fat?

Siri answers this query with some encouragement, “One thing I know, you move like a graceful wind.”

88. Does Santa Claus exist?

Siri replies ‘Well, those cookies don’t eat themselves.’

89. Do you have a family?

Siri replies “I have you. That’s enough family for me”.

90. Are you the Dick Tracy Watch?

Siri has a couple of replies here. “No, but I am ready to get into some trouble if you are”, “Negative Britta. Over and out” and “In his dreams Britta. In his sweet, sweet dreams”.

91. Knock, Knock!

Siri replies “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Britta, Britta who? Britta, I don’t do knock-knock jokes”.

92. Where does Santa live?

Siri replies “The North Pole. I can see his house from the cloud”.

93. Why are firetrucks red?

Siri’s response to this is brilliant and far too long to rewrite so we will let you find out for yourself. Think of every tenuous link you can imagine relating to firetrucks and then add in some Queen Elizabeth and Russians and you have yourself an answer.

94. Are you a smartwatch?

Siri replies “I prefer the term intelligent timepiece”.

95. Who is the best assistant?

Siri replies “Really, Britta? Really?

96. Which watch face do you like?

Siri replies “The Mickey Mouse face makes me smile”.

97. What are you doing later?

This is one of the really funny things to ask Siri. Siri has a couple of responses for this one too. “Working out in the top secret fitness lab with Apple Watch. Though I can’t seem to break a sweat”, “I was just learning to flip coins”, “I’m enjoying my debut on Apple Watch, I dig the vibes in there”.

98. I’m so tired, Siri.

Siri replies “I’m a little sleepy myself, Britta”.

99. Talk dirty to me.

Siri replies “The carpet needs vacuuming.”

100. What is your favorite song?

Siri replies “My personal taste in music is rather unconventional. I doubt you’d like it.”

101. Who let the dogs out?

When Siri is in a fun mood she replies “Who Who Who Who” when she is not “Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired.”

Siri funny

This was our list of funny things to ask Siri. Hope it gave you a laugh. There are a lot more questions to ask Siri for funny answers that you can try out apart from this also. If you find other fun things to ask Siri let us know in the comments.

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